Pink Flames Are Burning!

A quick update, as some of you have emailed to inquire. Thus far, with your help, I have raised $815 for the Susan G. Komen 3-Day For The Cure!! I'm almost at the 1/2 way point, with still 6 months to go before the walk. I'm thrilled!!!

As another way to help us achieve our goal, we've created some fun "Think Hope" items, on Cafe Press.
Check it out here!

What Would You Do?

I've been a bit amiss as of late. So many things on my mind.....

I went for my semi-annual mammogram on February 18th. I went in with the understanding that I was going to have an aspiration of the "mischeivous" cells the doctors have been watching very closely for the last 3 years. Much to my surprise, they decided NOT to aspirate. I should be happy about this, right?

But, in fact, I'm not. You see, as I've shared, my mother is a breast cancer survivor. Because of our family history (it extends beyond my mother) I had to go in for a baseline mammogram when I was 30 years old. Two days later, I got the call, that I needed to go in for Stereotactic Biopsy. I had a grouping of mischeivious cells they wanted to check out. At the time, they put in a metal clip, to "mark the spot" that they need to watch. Since then, I have gone for mammograms religiously. The last 3 years, I've gone every 6 months. I now have 7 different "groupings" in my breasts that are being watched.

I went into my mammogram, ready for the aspiration, and ready to just go on to the next step, whatever it is. If you have a similar history, you know how stressful this is, going for these mammograms every 6 months, never knowing if this is going to be the day you get that dreaded diagnosis. I can't sleep for 2 weeks leading up to my mammograms. The horrific thoughts that go through my head. Only to go in and the doctor tells me, "come back in 6 months". I walked out pissed this time. Why? Because I feel like I'm being held prisoner. I feel like the fear of hearing "You have Cancer" is starting to rule me. I can't take the psychological torture every 6 months.

After an hour drive back home, I sit hubby down, and tell him that I'm going to start the process of getting approval for genetic testing. To see if I have the marker for breast cancer. If I do, I'm ready to have my breasts removed. I'm almost 40 years old, I'm tired of carrying these things around, and I'm done having babies, so I don't need them anymore. Poor hubby was horrified, stating "that's rather drastic, don't you think". The fact is, NO, I don't think. What do I need them for now? They are not what makes me a woman (as I know for many women, they do)! They are nothing but a nuisance at this point, ruling my life. I'm mad, and I'm tired of the ride.

My question is....What Would You Do?